As I lay in bed last night reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin I came to some self realizations. First, she talked about finding what you really love to do. Rubin said to look back to what you enjoyed doing as a child and to revisit those activities as an adult. Thinking back to my childhood, one that lacked excitement on most days, I remember doing A LOT of reading. I loved books, loved having them around me, loved looking through different subjects at the library, often times reading 2 or 3 different chapter books at the same time. I loved becoming involved in stories. I still really love to read, I just don't find enough time to do it. I still have the same feeling when I'm around books, the excitement of learning new characters, learning how to improve myself or help my children grow into well rounded people. So, this evening I went to the library and dug into some books. While I'm still reading The Happiness Project, I checked out three other titles to include Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh; How to Attract Money by Robert Griswold; and When Did I Get Like This? by Amy Wilson. I really love fantasy books as well, Harry Potter is my absolute favorite but I also enjoy Yann Martell's work. I read The Life of Pi a few summers ago and it was really great, I can't wait to read his latest Beatrice and Virgil.
My second realization is that I LOVE music and I haven't really been involved in music since I graduated High School over 10 years ago now. I played flute in every band that my school had to offer. I loved to be apart of a bigger group, to know that my music blended with all of the others in such a beautiful but unique way. I have the interest in music still, I'm just a little rusty. I was watching a television program yesterday and a woman was playing the cello, an instrument I have always found to be hauntingly beautiful. I got really emotional from the music she was playing (probably just the pregnancy hormones talking) but it struck me that I had always wanted to learn to play the cello. My daughter is in violin lessons currently and each week that I take her to the music center I feel something tugging at me, like God is nudging me and saying "come on, you know you want to".
Another point that really struck me to the core as I read last night was that I don't spend enough time playing with my kids anymore. When Simon was a baby and a toddler I played and read and played every chance that I had. I put so much effort into everything that I did for them. I fear now that I'm losing those moments with them each and every day because I'm "too tired". I'm afraid that I will wake up one morning and Simon will be 18 and Avery will be too cool for mom time. I really need to put more effort into my children, I do feel like I do a lot for them but running them to lessons and cooking and cleaning aren't what they will remember. They will remember the fun experiences that they had, I hope.
As I read last night, it dawned on me that Gretchen Rubin had a blog and that I hadn't even looked at it. So, this evening the first thing I did when I sat at the computer was to search for the Happiness Project. I was so excited to find it and I found out that there is an actually guided Happiness Project for 2011. I wish I had thought of it sooner, I could have been following it from the beginning but I don't think that it's too late to jump on the wagon! I'm also really excited that she has the Secrets of Adulthood posted on there, which I think is just great!
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