Keeping Calm... somewhat.

Soooo, this past month has been perhaps one of the most torturing of my life. It's just been stress, stress, stress. My aunt and grandma just left yesterday after being in my home for nearly three weeks. It wasn't so bad having them here to visit, but it was really difficult getting them to follow my rules with the kids. Sure they thought they were being harmless and fun but in the end it was torture. Simon, who is already a very defiant child towards me has now reached a point that I didn't think was possible. Today he had a 2 hour tantrum which ended with him calling me some very ugly names and trying to break his bedroom window. I just can't seem to figure out what makes him dislike me so much. I know that it's nothing really that is my fault, he's just a very defiant child with some mental disabilities that he has no control over. Recently his Dr. suggested that he be assessed for Asbergers Syndrome. While it was a relief to put some kind of label to his trouble, it was not really comforting news. We've been dealing with the ADHD pretty well, but the ODD is unbearable, nothing that I do seems to be right. Days like today I just want to crawl away and hide for awhile. His behavior makes it really hard for me to be patient with my other two children. I just don't have any energy. I'm emotionally drained and I've been questioning my own mental health lately. I really want to have another baby, I just feel like I'm meant to have more, but how can I manage another child with all that I have now? I know that God has the answers, it's probably very clear to me and I'm just not recognizing it. I just really want my loving, happy little boy back and I don't know how to make that happen. So now that my family has moved into their house and out of mine, I'm behind on my bookwork for the ballroom, my house is a disaster, and I have so much to do. I know that I'm a good mom, but days like today I really feel like a failure as a parent. Pray for me.