Happiness Project Revisited

As I lay in bed last night reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin I came to some self realizations. First, she talked about finding what you really love to do. Rubin said to look back to what you enjoyed doing as a child and to revisit those activities as an adult. Thinking back to my childhood, one that lacked excitement on most days, I remember doing A LOT of reading. I loved books, loved having them around me, loved looking through different subjects at the library, often times reading 2 or 3 different chapter books at the same time. I loved becoming involved in stories. I still really love to read, I just don't find enough time to do it. I still have the same feeling when I'm around books, the excitement of learning new characters, learning how to improve myself or help my children grow into well rounded people. So, this evening I went to the library and dug into some books. While I'm still reading The Happiness Project, I checked out three other titles to include Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh; How to Attract Money by Robert Griswold; and When Did I Get Like This? by Amy Wilson. I really love fantasy books as well, Harry Potter is my absolute favorite but I also enjoy Yann Martell's work. I read The Life of Pi a few summers ago and it was really great, I can't wait to read his latest Beatrice and Virgil.

My second realization is that I LOVE music and I haven't really been involved in music since I graduated High School over 10 years ago now. I played flute in every band that my school had to offer. I loved to be apart of a bigger group, to know that my music blended with all of the others in such a beautiful but unique way. I have the interest in music still, I'm just a little rusty. I was watching a television program yesterday and a woman was playing the cello, an instrument I have always found to be hauntingly beautiful. I got really emotional from the music she was playing (probably just the pregnancy hormones talking) but it struck me that I had always wanted to learn to play the cello. My daughter is in violin lessons currently and each week that I take her to the music center I feel something tugging at me, like God is nudging me and saying "come on, you know you want to".

Another point that really struck me to the core as I read last night was that I don't spend enough time playing with my kids anymore. When Simon was a baby and a toddler I played and read and played every chance that I had. I put so much effort into everything that I did for them. I fear now that I'm losing those moments with them each and every day because I'm "too tired". I'm afraid that I will wake up one morning and Simon will be 18 and Avery will be too cool for mom time. I really need to put more effort into my children, I do feel like I do a lot for them but running them to lessons and cooking and cleaning aren't what they will remember. They will remember the fun experiences that they had, I hope.

As I read last night, it dawned on me that Gretchen Rubin had a blog and that I hadn't even looked at it. So, this evening the first thing I did when I sat at the computer was to search for the Happiness Project. I was so excited to find it and I found out that there is an actually guided Happiness Project for 2011. I wish I had thought of it sooner, I could have been following it from the beginning but I don't think that it's too late to jump on the wagon! I'm also really excited that she has the Secrets of Adulthood posted on there, which I think is just great!

Happiness and Benjamin Franklin

I'm still trying to be Zen, it's a fight that I am dead set on winning. After reviewing some feng shui videos on youtube I realized that my bedroom was set up all backwards. The paint color that I chose was on track however the furniture arrangement was wacky. So I bought a headboard that I've been wanting (something that you need to have for feng shui balance) and I rearranged the furniture. I still have a few more touches before it becomes a sanctuary. It seems to be helping with "things" between my husband and I. I've been reading this book titled "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. She discovered through her project that going to bed early and getting the home organized helped achieve ultimate happiness. I can see how that would work. I've been going to bed early for the past week and I have been far less crabby at my family. Having a week away from work has also helped! My mission since we've moved into this house in May was to be more organized, so that is a welcomed change. It takes a lot of time but it's getting there. So far I've done the living room, the bathroom and my bedroom. I found this book suggestion from one of my new favorite websites, www.zenhabits.net. It has served as a really good resource. It's funny how you keep coming back to ideas through different avenues, in this book she talked about Benjamin Franklin and his thirteen virtues. He was really a revolutionary thinker and it continues to amaze me how his ideals apply even today; I think he one of my hero's! Maybe when I'm finished with The Happiness Project I'll read a biography or memoir of Ben Franklin. I think that would be a valuable read.

It's hard to be zen...

So this Zen deal is much harder than I thought it was going to be, especially considering that it's October, my favorite month of the year and I'm planning a party for the kids. Work has been crazy busy and it will proceed to be busy until the months end. Things are beginning to pile up and I'm feeling smothered by my to do list. To add to my agony, my Aunt is moving from California to Minnesota in the spring and her drop off is in 2 days. I have to be there while the truck is unloaded to sign for her stuff and I don't have 4 hours to spare. Plus there are parent/teacher conferences, violin lessons and cub/girl scouts to deal with as well. I totally spaced out and forgot about the girl scouts meeting tonight. UGH! That's what I get when I don't look at my planner for the day. I'm lucky I remembered to take my youngest son to get his flu shot today. I couldn't sleep last night, I was tired but my brain just wouldn't shut off. I guess my brain was stuck on ballroom hours. Since we've owned the ballroom my sleep has suffered tremendously. Staying up past midnight for work 3 days a week and then still needing to get up at 7am for the kids has been rough. I'm taking cues from my body so that I don't get sick. I rest when I can, try to eat healthy and drink lots of water. I just keep saying to myself "if I can just make it through October, I'll be OK!" I have managed to have a little fun with the kids, enjoying the beautiful fall weather when I can. We went to a corn maze on what seemed to be the hottest day for about a month. 80 degrees in October just doesn't seem natural here in MN. Last year we were all in hats and sweaters, this year some of us have shorts on! As Halloween approaches I'm sad that I don't get to do more with the kids, after all it is my favorite. I just do what I can and try to enjoy myself with what little free time I have.

Becoming Zen

Since June life has dramatically changed for my family. I went from working 40 hours a week as a secretary to being self employed. I'm finding that while I love working at home and being my own boss, it does hold certain challenges. A quick example of this would be sleep, now I can sleep whenever I want and it has made me slightly lazy. This "I can do it later" mentality is slowly making my anxiety levels soar because now I have an incredible amount to do. Before when I went away to work I had the opportunity to step away and write down all of the things I wanted to get done, there was a sense of order to everything. Now that I stay at home everyday it all just stares me in the face and most days I don't know where to begin. So, in an effort to bring some type of order back to my life I'm trying to be more zen. Strangely enough Benjamin Franklin's 13 Virtues is pretty zen, so I'm going to attempt to live the next year based on living simply, not spending unnecessarily and striving to be more zen. Referring back to my readings from Not Buying It, I'm going to spend less, buy used and really ask myself if I Need or Want something. Wish me luck!